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Resolutions for 2015

I don’t normally make resolutions for the new year, but I often make a list of things I’d like to accomplish or changes I’d like to implement or items to scratch off my bucket list. While I like the “fraught with portent” feeling January 1st brings, something about Official New Year’s Resolutions feels fake to me. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to set myself up for failure or be disappointed if I don’t follow through with my stated resolutions. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid of commitment. Maybe it’s because I’m trying to be all zen and in the moment and not stressed out about what’s coming down the pike tomorrow or next week or six months from now. Or maybe I’m just rationalizing my laziness. I don’t know. One day at a time. (Wo)man without vision shall perish. You can’t steer a parked car. If you don’t know where you’re going, how will you know when you get there? AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!

::ahem:::

Now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, here’s my current list of goals for 2015. It’s not a complete list, but it’s what is foremost in my mind right now.

1. Write every day – Except for NaNoWriMo 2013, I haven’t been very consistent with my writing. I tend to write in fits and spurts whenever the muse bites, but I realize this is not the way to improve my craft. In the upcoming year, I intend to write something every day – maybe a blog post, maybe a response to one of Chuck Wendig’s flash fiction challenges, or maybe another chapter on one of my two unfinished novels.

2. Follow the Anti-Inflammatory Diet – I really hate the common definition of the word “diet” (diet is die with a t, according to Garfield), but the more I read about eliminating foods that often cause inflammation and consuming more foods with anti-inflammatory properties, the more I’m convinced that it is worth a try. I’m not getting any younger, and rather than live on NSAIDs, I’d like to try some potentially less damaging pain management strategies for my plantar fasciitis, asthma and achy joints. If I end up dropping a few pounds as a result of a change in my eating habits, so much the better.

3. Get my craft on more often – Now that I’m no longer of child-bearing age, I find myself wanting to create in other ways – knitting, cooking, sewing, weaving. I love making things, but I’m not very good at it usually. In the upcoming year, I want to do more creating and crafting. This has the added benefit of helping me move through the enormous stash of craft supplies taking up space in practically every room of the house. I will most likely display, wear, donate, gift or otherwise dispose of projects as I finish them and as the mood strikes.

Okay, that’s everything on my list right now. What’s on your to-do list for 2015?

The Top 5 Things I’m Afraid to Write About

When I decided to start the WordPress One Post Per Day challenge I signed up for the daily email with a topic to write about. So far, I’ve been pretty uninspired by their suggested topics, but today’s really struck me – Make a List of 5 Things You’re Afraid to Write About. My first thought was, “Wow, only five things? I could go on and on,” but the truth is that I’m pretty open about writing and sharing what I think and how I feel, so now I’m wondering if I can actually come up with five things I’m afraid to write about. Still, if I’m honest (and that was my intention with this blog), here are my top five, in descending order:

5. Politics and Social Issues – My fear here stems from the old adage about never discussing politics, religion or sexual preferences in polite conversation. Really, though, my fear is that I’m not well versed on the issues (I studiously avoid mainstream news outlets) and that I’ll come across as ill-informed (which I am), ignorant (which I am about some things) and naive.

4. Money – having it, making it, keeping it, spending it. I’ve always had an uncomfortable, rocky relationship with money and I have a lot of fear and shame around my income level, my debt level, my credit history, and my financial stability.

3. My business – Specifically, my shortcomings in starting and maintaining a successful business. I feel like I have a lot of great ideas, but I haven’t had much success executing up to this point and I have a lot of shame around that.

2. Traumas in my past – I hope to use this blog to write about all my life experiences, but there are a few things in my past that I’m not sure I’m ready to open up about just yet. It is mostly involving some relationship issues in my teens and early adult years.

1. And finally, the thing I’m most afraid to write about is my true feelings about my relationships, not only with my husband and son but with everyone I’m very close to and very fond of. I’m afraid that if I write what I really think and how I really feel, it might get back to them and they might be angry, disappointed or hurt by what I’ve said.

Wow, that was amazingly cathartic. Maybe I’m not as afraid to write about these subjects as I thought I was.

An experiment

Let me just start off by saying that I’m scared to death to start blogging. I enjoy writing and usually have plenty to say as long as I’m writing about something I care about, but to keep a personal blog with the potential for other people to read it and comment on it is kind of terrifying. Still, I’m intrigued to start on this little adventure because of something I read on Seth Godin’s blog, which (and forgive my much-less-eloquent-than-Seth paraphrase) is that in order to get better you should write every day. Even if it’s bad and even if you’re not sure what to say. He assures me that, the more I write, the better I’ll get, so I’m taking him on his word and going for it.

It helps that WordPress is encouraging everyone to take up the One Post Per Day challenge for the month of October as a warm up to November’s National Novel Writing Month. While I’m not sure I’m ready to write a novel, I do feel like I have a lot to say and could certainly use the practice before I start on the e-book for Stir the Embers.

So, I don’t really have much of a plan or theme yet, other than to talk about things that interest or concern me. I may use some foul language and I will most definitely rant a bit. I won’t be upliftingly positive all the time (I save that for the other public forums I post on a lot), but I’ll try not to be a complete downer.  I will be honest and real as I can.