Fiction – What I Wanted To Say
This is a little bit of fiction that will probably work its way into one of the Brenna & Garan stories. It is based on a conversation I had with Ex-Husband #2 several years ago (and shortly before we split up, natch!). Here’s what I would’ve liked to have said, but just didn’t have the courage to do so at the time.
“Jesus, what the hell do you want?!?!?” He slammed on the brakes, bringing the car to a violent stop in the middle of the street and turning to glare at her in frustration. They were having the same, old, tired fight that they always had, the one where she’d disagreed with something he’d said or some decision he’d made, or some opinion he’d shared. But rather than discuss their differences calmly and rationally, it always devolved into a passionate, high-volume argument with neither side willing to budge. Today, however, was different. It became suddenly, painfully obvious that it was never going to get any better and that their relationship was never going to get past this obstacle, this needing to be right and prove the other wrong, this refusal to “agree to disagree.” As he sat there, red-faced and impatient, waiting for her to escalate the fight, she realized with perfect crystal clarity that this was the end of their relationship. A sense of palpable relief flooded over her, and she smiled to herself. Now, there was nothing to lose.
“What I want is a man who is crazy about me and isn’t afraid to say it or show it. I want a man who thinks I’m beautiful and sexy, and who tells me so. I want a man who isn’t afraid to hold my hand or put his arm around me or kiss me in public. I want a man who knew when we met that I was the one for him. I want a man who will have my back in a fight, who will defend my honor, who would take a bullet for me. I want a man who appreciates me for who I am and what I do. I want a man who doesn’t openly ogle other women in front of me. I want a man who wants to help, but doesn’t need to fix it for me. And I don’t think that’s too much to ask.”